OK so today I have to stop and write. I have so many emotions, if I don’t write, I will explode or cry all day at God’s goodness. I often wonder what type of job I am doing as a mom. I am pulled so many directions and as a leader in Chosen Ones ministry, I spend so much time ministering to other people, praying for people, phone conversations, adoptions, meetings, I could go on and on. I’ve been thinking non- stop of how I can possibly incorporate (carve out time) positive lessons this summer so my kids don’t forget what this life is all about. Am I doing all I can to be the mother called me to be or am I ministering to so many others I have lost sight of my own?? I have struggled a lot with this question lately. Kenna Grace Akins, such a gift from God. The type of child who leaves me wondering every day, what is “wrong” with this girl? The girl who did not walk until 20 months of age. We wondered if she WOULD ever walk. Also the girl who (when she was 3)screamed 45 minutes in her room on many occasions, because I told her she couldn’t come out until she said “I’m sorry”. The girl who still won’t look in the eyes of another human in public, never say her name. The girl who cries when you say ANTHING and I mean ANYTHING negatively about her at all. (even” your hair is messy”) The girl who is so quirky she sleeps with different objects every night. And when I say objects, it can be anything from a stuffed animal to a hairbrush or plate, whatever she likes that day, she will sleep with it! THIS GIRL. I always tell her ”God has a special plan for you kiddo”. I can’t wait to see what it is! But just as quirky and introverted as this girl is, she is amazing. Her beauty and strength amaze me. She is the first to run and pray over her brother when he has a headache. She is the first to ask and answer the “family question of the day” at our dinner table every night. She is the one who does the crazy dance moves to silly songs when we are just laughing at her hysterically. She is the one who carries her bible everywhere and pretends to read every page. She often asks me to read her the bible and she listens intently even though sometimes I need a verse translation. One day at lunch when it was just me and her, as I admired her beautiful self (as all mothers do) the Lord spoke and said “I made her for you”. Talk about a moment. God MADE her for me in her mothers’ womb. WOW!!
I say all of this to say, I received an email this morning from her school. This is how it went:
Congratulations! Your child is being recognized with a library award for their exemplary display of positive behavior and for making us Eagle Ridge PROUD. You are invited to attend this celebration. This award is given to only ONE boy and ONE girl in each grade level. Your student will be recognized at our PROUD CROWD assembly on Wednesday, May 31st. We want to surprise your student with this award at our assembly.
WHAT?? WHO?? You see May 31st is my birthday. Of all the days to bless me, God chose my birthday. To show me how much He loves me and to assure me that my doubts and insecurities are unwarranted. HE gave her to me. He knew what he was doing. HIS timing is perfect. That little green book I pray every morning as she rides to school is working!! Prayer Blessings For your Children, they really do work 😊 It made me realize ALL children are special no matter how hurt, damaged, quirky, odd, slow or shy, they have a destiny.. HE chooses us to adopt them because he knows our inmost being. He knows what we are capable of handling. Don’t ever underestimate the power of our GOD. Thank you Lord for showing me, through my beautiful daughter, I am capable, and I am called to be her mother~ Press on precious parents. Don’t look at your condition, look at your POSITION. You are righteous and redeemed, that’s all that matters!!